Point of View

Point of View: The Pirate Audition (a Guest Post by Robert Fulton)

Actor Robert Fulton shares a humorous audition story – and perhaps a cautionary tale for all actors! – in this week’s Point of View.

Earlier this week, having just returned from The Goodwill where I spent a half hour rummaging through old blazers looking for one that looked 1940s Private Eye for an up-coming audition, I was reminded of one of the more hilarious audition-wardrobe malfunctions I’ve been privy to in my acting career.

You see, when we actors go to on-camera auditions for commercials, TV shows, movies, etc., they quite often like us to “dress the part”. The theory is this gives them more of a feel for the entire piece, how you fit in and so on. I must admit earlier in my career I was a little lax about this, but over the years I’ve come to learn that if you really want the job you have to at least make an effort. And why not? You’ve put the work in on the acting, why not give yourself one more advantage by looking the part as much as you can?

Now, some actors like to “make an effort”, while others like to “swing for the fences”.

For example, one day a close friend of mine who’s also an actor, was sitting outside the audition room waiting for his name to be called. In walks another actor dressed head to toe in full pirate gear. Talk about swinging for the fences! He had spared no expense. He had the whole nine yards: boots; sword; eye-patch; fake parrot on the shoulder, you name it.

So, this fellow signs in and takes a seat to wait his turn. However, it did not take him too long to realize a couple of things were amiss. First: everyone was staring at him; and second: all the other men in the room were dressed in white shirts, black ties and black pants. Realizing they were probably not catering staff, he felt something must be awry. So, he leans over to the actor nearest to him and asks: “Excuse me, are you guys here for the role of the pirate?”
“No”, was the response, “We’re here for the pilot“.

At this, Bluebeard promptly stood up and headed outside to presumably phone his agent. Or kill himself. I dunno.

But seriously, I do hope that poor guy booked the job or at the very least they threw him a bone as ‘background’ in the spot after all the effort he went through assembling his costume,  if not listening to his messages. Personally, if it had been me, I think I would have gone in and auditioned anyway. “Avast ye lubbers! We’ll be cruising at twenty thousand feet! Do not remove your seat belts till we serve the rum! Arrrr!”

I digress. In closing there are two morals to this story. I think.

One: If you want the job at least make an effort.

And Two: Always double check when you think your agent said “Pirate”.

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